Couples Counseling
What Happened to Our Relationship? I Feel Stuck.
Have you felt a loss of closeness and connection with your partner?
Do you wish you could talk to your partner without bickering or snapping at each other?
Are you dealing with a major loss, such as a health condition or a breach of trust?
Are you busy with children and work and feel there is no time for your marriage?
It is important to know that all couple relationships change over time. It is normal and natural for relationships to go through stages. Many relationships get stuck when partners start to notice their differences. Often partners did not learn or develop the capacities needed to manage their differences. This is extremely common in our culture. That is why many relationships do well for a while and then falter. The couple is surprised to hit this bump in the road and don’t know what to do. Couples can feel helpless, scared, and lonely. I use the principles of the Developmental Model to help couples get unstuck and move to the next stage. This model was created by Ellyn Bader, PhD. and Peter Pearson, PhD. A key goal of the Developmental Model is to help partners develop capacities that may be weak and are needed to create a stable, loving relationship. A couple can expect to learn the following skills in our work together.
to tolerate uncertainty and difficult feelings
to express yourself clearly and with full-disclosure honesty
to define your independent thoughts, feelings, and desires
to stop blaming your partner and start focusing on yourself
to establish and maintain healthy boundaries
to learn to accept and manage your differences
to learn to fight fair and tolerate conflicts
to develop self-soothing strategies
to make repair attempts when conflict or injury has occurred
to work on how to create through your own growth the sexual, emotional
and spiritual intimacy you so crave
Reprinted from The Couple Center of Pioneer Vally with permission